A New American Champion [ by Michael T] [Culture Clash]
July 04, 2007How low is our national self esteem when we start celebrating when an American can eat more hot dogs than anyone else? This publicity stunt turned international spectacle is of course the Nathan’s Hot Dog contest held every year in Coney Island. And this was the event’s most surreal edition ever.
The previous champ, Takeru Kobayashi, proved unbeatable in the contest the last few years. Meanwhile the powers at be - whoever they are - felt an American should win this most American of “sports”, overeating. So as the show moved to ESPN (!), it became a sheer spectacle of Americana, stupidity and crassness - complete with contestant nicknames like the “Black Widow” and fun facts about their triumphs on the Competitive Eating circuit - most Tiramisu eaten in 10 minutes! Kobayashi was rumored to have a jaw problem and the top challenger seemed poised for history. His name - Joey Chestnut. (No, I’m not making any of this up.)
Today came and Kobayashi was entered, but nowhere to be seen. Would he show? What drama! In the meantime, the folks at ESPN basically wrapped the flag around Chestnut. Alas, the event started and there was Kobayashi looking formidable as always. But quickly, Chestnut went out ahead and Kobayashi struggled to keep up. Who would win the 12 minute contest? Who would break the record - 59+ hot dogs?
Well, it was neck and neck. Chestnut never lost the lead and broke the record. It was close and tied at some point. One of the announcers, in a lather, called it the greatest moment in American sports or some such nonsense. I wish I had written down what he said but I was laughing too hard. In the end, America won and Chestnut was literally wrapped in the flag. Pat yourselves on the back America.
As for poor Kobayashi, he also broke the record in coming in 2nd (like John Kerry). He also lost his lunch in a very public and humiliating, for the Japanese, fashion. At the end, he wasn’t the only one who was sick to his stomach over the contest.
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